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The wedding night and the honeymoon conjure so many expectations for special sexy moments. In fact, for most couples, the reality doesn’t come close to the hype; and for some, damaging disappointment can haunt a relationship for years. For a better shot at happiness, it’s time to replace the myth with reality.

The myth: The wedding night is a special time for the two of you to make love for the first time as a married couple.

The reality: Wedding preparations are exhausting and stressful. Unless you are eloping, you (or your parents) have probably spent a lot of time, effort and money to throw a great party for friends and family, and you are going to want to enjoy every minute of it.

Gone are the days when the newly married couple would leave the reception early to have their first sexual encounter in their honeymoon hotel. These days, most couples have been involved with each other (if not living together) for a while before the wedding. After a long evening of dancing, possibly drinking and socializing, most couples are not in the best shape for a meaningful intimate moment. For couples who have decided to wait until they are married, there is likely to be even more pressure to make this a night to remember — and even more likely that it will be a night that disappoints.

A better idea is to wait until morning , or until you get to your honeymoon destination — which brings me to myth No. 2.

The myth: The honeymoon should be unending nights and days of lovemaking.

The reality: Chances are, you already know what your sexual appetites are, and you are not suddenly going to be transformed by a marriage ceremony. Also, did I mention that wedding preparations are exhausting and stressful? Many couples arrive at their destination in a state of near-collapse. Add to that the opportunity to indulge in the pleasures of an exotic vacation, and there may not be much energy for indulging in more intimate pleasures.

Bottom line is, the wedding night and the honeymoon are just the start of your life as a married couple. You have many days and nights to enjoy each other. So if you really want a hot honeymoon, choose Hawaii, or Miami or the Caribbean — the temperature is always sizzling there!

Elaine Wilco is a Licensed Professional Counselor with over 20 years of experience. She maintains a private practice in Alpharetta focused on helping those with intimacy issues. Follow her at facebook.com/IntimacyAtlanta.

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