For some couples, the only thing worse than the same old boring sex is the idea of proposing something new. They have so many concerns. Will my partner think I’m weird or too kinky? Will they wonder why I’m asking, or where I got the idea? Will they get totally turned off?
So much of the talk about sex is serious — commitment, connection, intimacy, love, passion, safety — that we forget that it can also be lighthearted. Having un-serious sex doesn’t have to mean casual hook-ups. One of the greatest gifts of a long-term, trusting relationship is the ability to let go and just enjoy each other.
Kids have so much fun — but why does fun have to end when we grow up? For some very adult playtime, consider some of these suggestions:
Visit an adult toy store. Even if you don’t buy anything, the experience is bound to make you feel more erotic together.
Play dress-up. Whether your preference is for leather or lace, indulge your fantasies and express a different side of yourself.
Tell stories. If you can’t create erotic tales, find them in a book or on the internet, and have sexy story time.
Play with your food. Chocolate sauce and whipped cream are delicious, even when they aren’t on top of a sundae; just be careful to keep them away from areas where sugar can encourage yeast to grow.
Share your toys. Both men and women can be aroused by strategically placed vibrations, and there are some toys designed for couples to enjoy together.
Remember that sex is adult play, so find new ways to play together. And if something you try just feels silly or awkward, laugh about it together. After all, you can always go back to doing what you’ve done before!
Elaine Wilco is a Licensed Professional Counselor with over 20 years of experience. She maintains a private practice in Alpharetta focused on helping those with intimacy issues. Follow her at facebook.com/IntimacyAtlanta.